Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
