brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
