I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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