Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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