any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
