Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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