$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
