I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
