You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
