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• (850): View more from Florida

  So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  oh and he was serious.

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• (626): View more from California

  Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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• (323): View more from California

  Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.

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