Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
