You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
