I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
