Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
