He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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