I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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