I never want to see another naked old woman again.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
