so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
