it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My ass is underappreciated
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
