the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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