It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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