I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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