I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
