yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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