I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
