She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
