Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
