do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
