My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
and she was petting her beer can
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
