i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
