I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
