I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
