Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
