we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
