Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
