i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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