since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
