Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
