Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The best revenge is premature balding
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
