Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
