Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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