i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
