I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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