You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
