Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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