and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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