I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
