I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
