my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
