I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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