i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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