sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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