I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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